Archangel
by Jediempress
Summary: Riku and Sora discuss just how much the ones who create you influence who you become. "What do you think she was?" Prizefic for Wings of Avalon.


This is Wings of Avalon's prize fic for getting Sora's boyfriend correct first. I hope this works well for you. It probably isn't quite what you expected.

Again, I don't own. Thoughts and opinions are loved.

Archangel

Riku found Sora standing on a corner balcony overlooking the rising falls. He could sense Sora's peculiar mood before he even stepped out himself. The older teen sighed, walking over to stand beside his best friend in the chilly air.

Sora glanced at him for a moment but quickly turned back to his prior view. "I should have known she'd tell you."

"Penelo really cares about you." Riku leaned forward, bracing his forearms on the stone rail. "I think she may even be in love with you."

The brunet turned his head. His blue eyes widened a touch and the strange expression he had been wearing before brightened in faint disbelief. "You really think so?"

Riku chuckled. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't think it."

"Wow." Sora bit his lip. He traced a finger along the edge of the stone.

Riku gave him a moment to process this new thought before launching into the reason he had come here. He kept his voice quiet but there was a hard edge to it. "I told you not to look into it, Sora."

The younger one remained quiet. He turned back to watch the water of the falls defy gravity. "I needed to know, Riku."

Riku also turned. The pair mirrored one another's positions, the wind from the height they were at tugged at them. "What did you find out?"

Sora did not reply for several minutes. The older teen waited, wondering if the silence was due to aversion, disgust, or the other simply gathering his thoughts. Depending on what Sora had been able to piece together, it could have been any of those.

Riku had made it clear that he did not want anyone digging into his heritage. He should have known that Sora would not respect those wishes. If his friend had decided that he needed to know everything he could about Jenova in order to help Riku, he would make himself an expert.

"What do you think she was, Riku?"

The named teen watched a board free itself from one of the broken platforms before being thrust up one of the falls. "I don't know. The stories and legends seem to be split down the middle. Some think Jenova was a parasitic alien life that consumed worlds; others believe she was the heavens avenger…the destroyer archangel gone insane."

"I noticed that." Sora spoke quietly. "But what do _you_ think? You're the one who hears her, who feels her. You know Jenova on the most basic level. You have to have some kind of opinion."

"I don't care what she was."

When Sora snorted, Riku looked at him sharply. The brunet's expression was amused despite the serious look to his eyes. "I know you care because however you see her is how you see yourself."

Sora was right and they both knew it. Riku turned his face away again. "Then you probably already know what I think."

"You aren't a monster, Riku." The younger one stated firmly. "Yeah, you and Sephiroth are some guy's creations but aren't we all our parents' creation? Maybe you didn't come about the normal way, but life is life."

Riku shook his head. "It's not that simple, Sora."

"Yes, it is, Riku!" Sora snapped. "So you were born because of some sick scientist's experiment? I came about because my mom had an affair with a married man, but that has no effect on who I am now. It doesn't matter how or why you were born."

"It's not how I was born that's the problem, Sora." Riku kept his voice quiet. "It's… It isn't even why I was created. I hate all of that more than you can comprehend, but I accept it. Its _how_ that creation affects me.

"I know I'm different and I always have. You know this, Sora. Even when we were little, I was always different and everyone knew it. People didn't know what to do with me because I scared them. No one ever actually said it but I knew they were."

Sora sighed and threw his head back. "You're doing it again, Riku. You're focusing on the negative. Yeah, maybe you did make some people uneasy but most others loved you...the teachers at school, the fishermen at the wharf, the other kids. You were everyone's hero, always helping and trying to make things right, defending us weaker kids. We all wanted to be you."

"And look what happened." Riku muttered. "I opened that damn door and let the world get consumed by darkness."

"You didn't know that would happen."

"I didn't care what happened," countered the silvered teen. "All I wanted was to leave those islands and I couldn't have cared less about the consequences. …And that was because of Mother. How much of what I've done in my life has been because of her cells? I don't know and I probably never will."

"Then stop worrying about it." Sora looked at Riku with a mix of concern, anger and annoyance.

Riku let out a breath and laced his fingers together atop the stone ledge. He did not bother to say anything further. It was just likely to upset Sora more and he did not want that.

They were both quiet for several minutes. Sora turned back toward the falls. "So are you going to answer my question?"

"I can't."

The brunet sighed loudly. "Then it doesn't matter what I think, does it?"

Riku closed his eyes. How could he explain to Sora why he could not answer what should be a simple question? Then again, why could he not? He knew what he thought, had formed his own theory some time ago. This was Sora, his closest friend...who was always there for him, and meant more to him than nearly anything.

His voice came out a mere whisper. "It matters, Sora."

He felt Sora's eyes on him and waited. When he felt warmth on his hand, he glanced down to find the younger boy's hand on top of his. He was not sure what to make of this gesture.

"Riku," Sora began softly. "Tell me. It's important to me."

"I don't know what she is, or was. Sometimes…" He trailed off, trying to figure out what he wanted to say. "I can't make up my mind. Maybe I need to figure out how I see myself before I can decide on that."

"That makes a lot of sense." The brunet nodded. "I know you tend to pay more attention to how others look at you now. You didn't do that before, at least not nearly as much."

"I know." Riku agreed. "I guess I've never really internalized everything."

"Huh?"

"I mean, I know where I come from and who I came from. I understand the details and accept all of it, but I've never made it personal. I haven't really processed it and added Jenova into the big puzzle that is me."

"Oh," Sora breathed out in understanding. After a moment, he grinned lightly. "So you gotta decide if you'd rather be an angel or alien. That's a toughie."

Riku narrowed his eyes at Sora. "Are you teasing me?"

"Ku!" Sora looked affronted. "We're having a serious conversation here!"

"Right…" The older one said dryly as a faint smile tugged at his mouth. Now Sora was smiling, knowing that he had managed to brighten Riku's mood, if only by a little.

They fell into a much more comfortable silence, the rushing of the falls becoming a soothing background noise and the breeze dying out. A few bans of sunlight broke through the light cloud cover. It was strange how the weather seemed to fit many of their conversations.

Feeling Sora's eyes on him again, Riku glanced over. "What now?"

The younger teen grinned rather embarrassedly. "The way the light is hitting your hair makes you look kinda angelic."

Riku scrunched his face a bit. "It does?"

"Yeah," Sora nodded. "I was just thinking how perfectly right it was for you, being half-angel and all."

It took Riku a moment to comprehend what Sora was really saying. When he did, he reached over and shoved the brunet's shoulder; "Sap."

Both were smiling now.

Sora chuckled but there was a trace of seriousness to his voice. "I've told you this before, Riku. Mom and I always thought of you as a gift sent from the heavens. Even before I started researching Jenova, I knew you were an angel."

Riku had no idea what to say to that. Thankfully, Sora did not seem to want a response. "So, since that's what I've always believed and I know Cloud and the others think of you the same way, then that must make Jenova an archangel."

Riku felt depression begin to tug at him again. "Well, if that's true, she wasn't one of the good ones."

"Doesn't matter;" Sora shrugged. "We aren't our parents."

Something about Sora's certainty pushed the negativity away. Riku found himself nodding agreement and feeling better about himself than he had in a long time. Why was he so concerned about what Jenova was?

She was not him; he was not her.

"Thanks, Sora." Riku spoke sincerely. "I needed to hear that."

"Yep;" Sora agreed. "Your really too hard on yourself."

"I know." The silvered teen laughed. "That's why I've got you to kick my ass when I get too emo."

"Always glad to help." The brunet abruptly took Riku's hand and pulled him into the castle. "Now let's go find Yuffie so I can prove to her I really do have a guardian angel."


End file.
